I want to hold you when you are awake
by Yukina Kirielle
Summary: Pierrot: Japanese Rock fanfiction: shounen ai: Kohta loves Kirito, and Kirito loves Kohta. Only they don't know how to tell each other. Kohta loses his girlfriend and Kirito sees it fit to slowly suduce his brother.


Pierrot: fanfiction: 'I want to hold you when you're awake' Title: I want to hold you when you're awake Band: Pierrot Pairing: Kirito X Kohta Rating: Yaoi  
  
Kirito and Kohta were at Kohta's house, Kohta was sad. He had just lost another girl friend that he had liked a lot, he had planned on being with her forever. But she dumped and so he had whined and whined for days, he said that he was going to die alone. So Kirito invited him over to his house so that they could watch movies together. Kirito wasn't happy with watching movies with his little brother but everyone was tired of hearing him complain. They didn't want to hear about how he was going to live the rest of his life alone. Kirito didn't know what else to do but watch a movie with his brother and talk to him. "Well do you think you're over her yet?" Kirito asked grumbling the movie was the longest movie that he had ever seen in his life. Kohta sighed. "Maybe, I'll tell you when the movie's over." Kohta said watching the movie intensely as he yawned. "If you're going to fall asleep on my coach I advise that you leave now." Kirito said coldly. Kohta looked at Kirito who was sitting next to him. "Hey I'm in my time of need!" Kohta said pouting. "Ah don't worry I won't fall asleep, I promise."  
  
An hour later Kirito was staring at his brother who was sleeping on the coach. Kirito glared at Kohta, Kohta had said that he wasn't going to fall asleep. Kirito folded his arms over his chest; he hadn't seen his brother sleeping very often. His chest heaved lightly, his lips were slightly parted and his eyes were closed. His one leg was bent and the other one was off the coach. Kirito looked at Kohta sadly, he felt bad for his little brother. But he also liked his little brother, and a lot. He remembered the first time that he told his mother that he thought that he liked Kohta. He was very young and so was Kohta. He didn't know that people weren't supposed to love their brothers. He told his mother that he loved Kohta, and she said that was cute. Then told her that he really liked Kohta a lot. She slapped his so hard he fell to the ground and didn't get up, he was sent to his room and his mother cried for hours. He didn't say anything about it again, and that was when he realized that people didn't like their family members. Kirito for a long time had wanted to touch Kohta; he wanted to be close to Kohta, he wanted to be in love with Kohta. But he knew that couldn't happen. He knew it wasn't possible. But he could just this once touch Kohta, he was sleeping he would never know. Kirito felt himself blush and he slowly brought his hand close to Kohta's face. Kohta didn't move and didn't cease in his breathing or open his eyes. Kirito slowly ran his fingers over Kohta's face. Kohta didn't move and he didn't open his eyes. Kirito smiled slightly as he ran his fingers over his brother's chest and down to his belly button. Kirito didn't think that he should be doing this but he didn't see why he shouldn't. Kirito knew why not, his brother wouldn't let him do this to him if he was awake. He would disown Kirito. Kirito knew that if he wanted to do anything he was going to have to do it now while his brother slept. Kirito ran his fingers over his brothers' organ. Kirito felt himself shiver and he pulled away, he couldn't believe that he had done that. Kirito looked at his brother who moved slightly and mumbled something. He was still sleeping. Kirito bit the bottom his lip. Kirito reached over to Kohta again and squeezed him gently and massaged his brother lightly. Kohta moaned out and said Kirito's name. Kirito pulled away from his brother quickly. Had Kohta said his name? Kohta was sleeping, was he dreaming of Kirito? Kirito felt horrible he had just grabbed his little brother. Kirito placed his hands over his eyes and started to cry. How was he going to tell his little brother that he had done that? How could he look at him each day? Kohta opened his eyes slowly and leaned up onto his elbows and looked at Kirito. "Hum.Kirito why are you crying?" Kohta asked grabbing his brothers shoulders and holding them tightly. Kirito looked at Kohta and smiled. "Nothing the movie had a sad ending." Kirito said silently. Kohta smiled. "Oh well then I guess I should be getting home, it's late." Kohta said sighing loudly. "I mean its late.I'll have to go home, late.I'll have to hope that I can find a cab somewhere." Kohta said sighing again. Kirito knew what his brother was getting at. "You can stay here. I'll sleep on the coach and you can sleep in my bed." Kirito said thinking of how the sheets would smell like Kohta. Kohta shook his head. "This thing is like a rock, we can share the bed, I know you won't try anything, you're my brother your not like that." Kohta said winking. Kirito felt like crying again but just smiled. "Though I don't see how you could resist something like me." Kohta said shrugging his shoulders. "Come on lets go to bed." Kohta said taking Kirito's hand and dragging him over to Kirito's room. Kirito was going to protest when Kohta finally dragged him into the room. Kirito went into his drawer and grabbed his pajamas. "Do you want something to wear to bed?" Kirito asked. Kohta smiled. "I'd sleep in the nude but you're here, I won't scare you like that." Kohta said winking again. Kirito smiled, but at the thought of Kohta naked, it was too much for him. "Sure." Kirito pointed to a drawer in his dresser. "In here." Kirito said as he walked off to go and get ready for bed. Kirito came back out and Kohta was already laying on the bed waiting for Kirito to come back so he could turn off the light. Kirito slept as far away from Kohta as he could and whispered good night to his brother who was already asleep. Kirito sighed and turned out the light.  
  
Kirito woke in the middle of the night to find his brother had wrapped his arms around him and was holding him close. Kohta's legs were in tangled with Kirito's and his arms were wrapped around his upper body. Kirito felt himself growing warm as Kohta's organ was pressed against him. Kirito shook Kohta frantically. "Hum?" Kohta asked looking at Kirito, his eyes were slightly opened and he didn't look like he was with it. "Let go of me." Kirito said. Kohta mumbled sorry and let go of his brother, sort of. He let his arms loosen up and he moved his legs from Kirito. Kirito saw that Kohta had already fallen back to sleep. Kirito didn't know what to do, if he moved back he would fall off the bed. Kirito figured that he should just let Kohta hold him, he didn't know what he was doing. Kirito closed his eyes, he knew it was wrong to be pleasured by this. Kirito wrapped his arms around Kohta and put his legs around Kohta's and fell asleep. This might be the only chance that he got to be this close to Kohta for a long time. Kohta opened his eyes as Kirito closed his and he tightened his grip on his brother as he fell asleep. Kirito felt sad and empty, he wanted to be with his brother because he was awake not because he was sleeping and he had just happen to hold onto Kirito. It felt so pointless, if he couldn't be with his brother when his brother was awake what was the point of being with his brother at all? "I want to hold you when you're awake." Kirito whispered quietly.  
  
Kirito woke up to find that Kohta had his head resting on Kirito's chest, and his arms about him. Kirito knew that this wouldn't last for much longer. Kirito was glad that they didn't have practice, he didn't want to have to wake his brother. Kirito found that Kohta's one leg was in between his and it made him all warm and hot. Kohta was awake unknown to Kirito. Kohta pretended he was sleeping. He could fell Kirito's organ on his leg, and Kirito could fell his on his leg. He had wrapped his leg around Kirito's leg in the middle of the night. Kohta wanted to be close to his brother and he never wanted it to stop. Kirito shook Kohta. "Kohta its noon." Kirito said, he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't let his brother be this close to him anymore. Kohta acted surprised and slowly let go of Kirito. "Hum." Kohta said looking around. "Oh it's late isn't it?" Kohta said as he slowly removed himself from Kirito. Kirito noticed that Kohta looked like he didn't get any sleep at all. Kirito was sure that Kohta had slept all night, so why did he look so tired? Kirito was the one who stayed up half the night holding Kohta, he just wished that he could hold him when he was awake and not because he was sleeping. Kohta felt very tired he had stayed up all night so he could fell Kirito holding him, he wished that the only reason that Kirito was holding him was because he was sleeping and wasn't awake.  
  
The next night Kirito had invited his brother over. Kohta was still down and Kirito wanted him to be happy so he invited him over, he also wanted to be near his brother. Kirito and Kohta were watching a movie. Kirito had found the longest possible one, he wanted to make sure that Kohta would fall asleep and he could touch him again. Kohta who hadn't slept at all that day because he had to go shopping for cloths was more than tired. It was nearly an hour into the movie and Kohta was already asleep. Or he was pretending to be. He had moved his foot to Kirito's lap and the other one fell off the coach. Kohta's one arm rested across his body and the other one just fell off the coach. Kohta moved his foot every so often, as if he was sleeping, in Kirito's lap, ever so gently brushing up against his organ. Kirito felt pleasure run threw his body as Kohta's foot was in his lap ever so lightly brushing over his organ every so often. Kirito looked at Kohta, he liked his legs. They were long and thin. Kirito smiled, he remembered as a kid when he was turned on by Kohta's legs when he saw them in the pool. Kohta felt like his eyes wouldn't stay open as he fell asleep and his foot stopped moving and he was asleep. Kirito moved Kohta's foot off to one side and moved closer to him. Kirito ran his fingers softly over his brothers legs and smiled, his brother was so beautiful. Kirito only wished that they hadn't been born related. Of they would had been born to two different families he would be able to love his brother.  
  
For the next week Kirito would invite his brother over and he would fall asleep and Kirito would touch him. But each night Kirito felt more and more guilty until he would just cry for what seemed like hours. Kirito would have of told Kohta that he was in love with him but he couldn't he didn't want Kohta to tell him that he didn't want him. Kirito felt like he would die is he were to be rejected by Kohta. But now he was so guilty he was willing to tell Kohta what he had done. And the first time that he had touched Kohta, Kohta had said Kirito's name, so there might be some chance that Kirito wouldn't be hurt to badly. One day in practice Kirito was waiting for everyone to find the missing drumstick and Aiji's lucky pick that he had lost somewhere in the room. Kirito was getting impatient, and all he could think about was how much he loved Kohta. He was afraid to tell Kohta what he had done but he had to. If he didn't he forever would fell very guilty and wouldn't be able to concentrate. "Kohta can I see you out in the hallway for a second." Kirito said kindly. Kohta smiled. "Sure, I'll just leave you guys to find the missing items." Kohta said waving to everyone as he left with Kirito into the hallway. "What is it?" Kohta asked closing the door behind himself. Kirito felt his eyes water up. "Kohta you know the time that you came over to my house? We watched a movie and you fell asleep then I let you stay over? Well." Kirito said pausing. "What?" Kohta asked, had Kirito found that Kohta hadn't been sleeping and had been holding on to Kirito because he wanted to? Kirito fell to his knees in front of Kohta. "You were so beautiful, I couldn't resist you anymore. I touch.touched you." Kirito said tears falling down his face. "You were sleeping and I wanted to touch you, you don't know how beautiful you were, I couldn't resist you anymore. Then I invited you over and over again so that I could wait for you to fall asleep and I could touch you." Kirito wanted Kohta to hit him or kick him, just do something to show how mad he was, it would be better than the silence that there was now. Kohta bent down to Kirito. "You remembered the night that I slept over? I was awake all night; I wanted to hold you in my arms. I knew that you wouldn't think anything of it because you would think that I was asleep and you wouldn't mind. Then the next night that you invited me over.I wasn't asleep when I had my foot in your lap. That's why my foot stopped moving when I really fell asleep." Kohta said staring into Kirito's eyes. Kirito was surprised; he didn't know what to say. "How long have you felt this way about me?" Kohta smiled. "I don't know why. I just do." Kirito smiled and stopped crying. Kirito didn't know what else to do but hug his kid brother. "Kohta I have loved you ever since we were little." Kirito said closing his eyes and smiling happily, he finally got to hold Kohta in his arms, he had always wanted to do this, and he was awake. Kohta stared into Kirito's eyes for what seemed like forever until he kissed Kirito. Kirito held his brother's face as he kissed him back. Kirito wanted to kiss Kohta forever, Kirito touched his tongue to Kohta's lips and he waited for Kohta to open his mouth. Kohta held Kirito in his arms as their tongues ran over each other. Kohta pulled away from Kirito so he could say. "I love you." Kirito smiled kissed his brother one last time before they were to go into practice. Aiji opened the door. "I found it! Loo-" Aiji stopped talking when he saw Kohta and Kirito kissing on the ground. "Oh my god." Aiji said fainting. Takeo and Jun ran quickly to them and stopped when they saw why Aiji fainted. Kohta and Kirito pulled away from each other. Kirito still held Kohta in his arms and Kohta still held Kirito. Jun coughed and looked at Kirito and Kohta surprised. "Um I guess that your over you old girlfriend Kohta?" Jun asked looking at Takeo who was so surprised that he didn't say anything. Kirito and Kohta stood up, but they didn't want to let go of each other. "I don't think we will be able to practice.Aiji fainted." Kirito said smiling. "I guess we should go home.maybe one of you would like to get Aiji off of the ground? Well see you tomorrow." And with that Kirito and Kohta went off to go to Kirito's apartment in each others arms and their mouths that couldn't be broken apart.  
  
Disclaimer: I own pierrot in no way, nor do I own any of these people or know any of them. I make no money off of this, I'm just a fan. Don't sue me. 


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